Adventure Time With The A-Team

A Team Building Event at the local amusement park? Overnight stay with accomodation paid? Everyone's pretty excited - how often does work fork out for something this cool? Annnnnnd then you arrive. Faded signs. Peeling, badly-painted artwork of clowns and harlequins. You can hear the wooden rollercoasters rattling from the car park. Guess it was cheap. You're even less impressed wth the accomodation. It's a thin-walled wooden hut clearly designed for schoolkids. It has bunk beds. You spend an afternoon wandering with a few of your team members, before heading back to the hut. There isn't even a bar here - not that you can find, anyway. The place is a bit of a maze. So where have the managers gone? It's getting really late. Maybe you should go looking for them? [[Go out to look for the managers]]

You pet the cat. It purrs loudly and contentedly. When you start walking again, the cat follows you and yells at you. "MeeeeeOOOOOW". [[Pet the cat again]] [[Keep walking]]

The cat follows you until you are about halfway down the alley, where it stops as if it's hit an invisible barrier. It sits down and stares at you as if it's very disappointed in your life choices. You experience a vague sense of guilt, but you keep walking until you come across the entrance to the rickety rollercoaster. It looks like the quickest way out would be to ride it. [[Go to the rickety rollercoaster]]

You pet the cat for a bit longer. It purrs even more loudly. But when you try to walk away, it follows you again, yelling even more insistently than before. "Meeeooooooow! MEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!" [[Pet the cat]] [[Keep walking]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is '4415625')[ [[The door opens]] ](else:)[ That didn't work! Try again? [[Go to the rickety rollercoaster]] ]}

You sit yourself down on the rollercoaster - "comfortably" is not the right word, but at least there are seatbelts. Just as you're wondering who's gonna pull the lever, the rollercoaster starts - all by itself. When you get off at the other side, you find yourself fighting the urge to check whether your teeth have rattled clean out of your head. At least you don't get motion sickness. The exit leads you between two fences, down some steps and into a sort of courtyard. There's only one way out, and there's someone lying across it. [[Talk to the... person?]]

Outside, you run into a lemonade stand. Literally. Lemons everywhere. Never seen so many lemons in your life. The lemonade seller is a little old lady. She looks like every wicked witch in every fairy tale ever: old, bent over, black hooded cape thing, big wart on the end of her huge hooked nose. She's shuffling towards you. What do you do next? [[Help the lemon seller pick them up]] [[Pocket some lemons and run]]

The lemon seller - who turns out to be a pretty sweet old dear - was pleased that you stopped to help, rather than running away. She says she's seen the managers heading towards the other side of the park, and the quickest way to get there is to ride that rickety-looking rollercoaster - the exit comes out close to where she saw them. [[Go to the rickety rollercoaster]]

As you approach the entrance, you walk over a circle in red paint on the floor. The ride is behind a fence. There's a wooden doorway in front of you, covered in flaking green paint and rust-stains. It's locked with a combination lock: you need to enter 7 numbers to get the door open. There's a note next to the lock. It reads: <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/Note.JPG" alt="ugggh, maths"> Well, your maths teacher would be laughing now. You remember reading somewhere that one pace measures about 0.75m on average. You were once called "pretty average" by a slightly upset ex, so maybe this will work? You pace out the radius of the circle. It's about 5 paces. You give the lock a spin, and notice that there are no decimal points. [[What's the combination to unlock the door?]]

You find yourself in a sort of alley between the closed fairground games. You figure you may as well keep going. Something down here is moving. You freeze for a second, but then you hear... "Meeeeooow?" A large black cat crosses your path, spots you, and trots over to rub itself round your legs, still mewing. [[Pet the cat]] [[Keep walking]]

The person lying across the exit has long, straggly hair, long, grubby, curling fingernails and long, yellowing teeth. Their skin is pale and sort of bruised-looking in a way that puts you in mind of zombie movies. They're probably wearing a costume. It's a really convincing costume. When you they hear you speak, they leap to their feet with surprising agility and shuffle towards you, giggling in a high-pitched voice. You describe your managers to the strange person and ask if they've seen them. "None shall pass without my permission!" "Uuuh... so did our managers pass with your permission?" "NONE SHALL PASS WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!" More giggling. Might as well try the obvious. "Can I have your permission?" The grubby person glares at you. "No." You stand there staring at each other for a second. They tilt their head just a bit too far to the left, and smirk. "Or, maybe, if you can answer me this: What am I? I do not live, but I grow; I have no lungs, but I need air; I do not breathe, but water kills me. What am I?" [[Answer the riddle]] [[Try to get past anyway]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'fire')[ The person looks grumpy, but steps aside and waves you on. You walk away from the strange person as quickly as you can without seeming rude. But [[What's that noise?]] ](else:)[ [["WRONG! WRONG! What will you do now!"]] ]}

"Whatever, mate". You walk towards the exit, but the stranger leaps in front of you, flailing their limbs in a weird dance. Are their arms and legs getting longer? Should their jaws be doing... that? How many teeth can you fit in one mouth? Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. That is not a costume. Run? There's nowhere to run. <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/death%201.jpg" alt="oh hi hun!">

Try to [[Answer the riddle]] again [[Try to get past anyway]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'stuck in tunnel help')[ [[Go to the entrance to the tunnel ride]] ](else:)[ Try to work out [[What's that noise?]] again ]}

Sure enough, when you get close to the ride you realise that the jangly music and flashig lights are stuck on a loop, repeating the same three bars and the same light sequence over and over and over and over and over... - What? You shake your head. The lights put you into a kind of trance. How long were you standing there? There's a scruffy ticket booth next to the ride. Inside is the lever that controls the ride. Next to the lever is a wonky plastic chair, and on the chair is a hammer. The door to the booth is open, so you enter. The lever won't budge on its own. [[Whack the lever with the hammer]]

You find yourselves within sight of the Tunnel of Love ride, which for some reason is still working, neon lights flashing away in the gloomy evening. There's a weird beeping noise coming from somewhere which clashes with the tinny fairground music. For reasons we do not need to go into here, you recognise the beeping as Morse code! Translate the code and find out what to do next. .../-/..-/-.-./-.-/../-./-/..-/-./-././.-../...././.-../.--./ [[Translate the code]] <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/Morse%20Code.jpg" alt="have a cheat sheet">

One good whack with the hammer shifts the lever and the ride twinkles romantically out of its endless loop. You pocket the hammer; you feel more and more like this is the kind of place where a hammer might be useful. It's not long before the cars appear with a soft wooosh. A tall gentleman leaps elegantly right out of the rear car, over two steps and does the Superhero Landing, his long coat swishing dramatically the whole time. Coooooooooool. "Hello, my new friend." He's very handsome. Very nice smile. Really good teeth. But is he... is it the fairground lights... or is he... wearing glitter? That's gotta be what the weird sparkling effect is, right? "I thank you for freeing me from disaster. I thought I was going to go insane in there!" Another smile. Really, really good teeth. You ask him about the managers. "I'm sure they will be just fine. Why don't you come with me?" Boyyyyy, is he charming. So shiny. And those teeth... [[Well, he's very handsome. It couldn't hurt to see what he wants...]] [[HECK YES]] [[No, thanks buddy, I'll just be on my way!]]

[[Oh dear, you've been seduced by the vampire.]]

He nods. "I respect that. One word of advice, though. If you're trying to get out of here? Don't go *that* way. Never go *that* way." He points. "Oh - and you'll need this when you speak to the spaceman." He hands you a piece of paper. He what now? Oh well, it's not like this night can get any weirder, right? You take the paper, mostly to humour him, and go on your way. [[Go *that* way anyway]] [[Go the other way]]

You find yourself walking between two buildings. The light of the full moon (of course it's full moon) gleams down. The buildings seem to be getting taller. The passageway seems to be getting narrower. It's just your imagination... right? You hear something from the end of the alley. A shuffling, wheezing sound. Something gleams at you in the darkness. You halt abruptly, but it's too late. Something is snarling. Something with yellow, slit-pupilled eyes, a slobbering tongue, and huge, savage fangs... You should not have gone that way. <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/death%203.jpg" alt="HELLO. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.">

Heading in the direction your new friend indicated was safe, you find yourself at a dead end. Except it's not entirely a dead end. There's a long, low-roofed, rickety building covered in painted cartoon characters. After squinting for a few moments, you realise there's a door about halfway down. With a cowboy and a spaceman painted on it. You knock on the door. The spaceman's face slides back to reveal a human face (phew!) behind it. The human peers at you suspiciously. [["Password?"]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'to infinity and beyond')[ [[he lets you in]] ](else:)[ he gives you side-eye and slams the hatch closed, so you're looking at the spaceman again. You're gonna have to try again. Knock, knock. [["Password?"]] ]}

You step into a dusty lobby for an old-fashioned cinema. Everything is faded red velvet. There's a booth selling popcorn and snacks, none of which look particularly appetising. The man glares at you. He's tall and thin-faced, wearing a suit topped off with a pair of black circular ears on a headband. "The screening has started," he announces in the plummiest accent you've ever heard. He gestures for you to go into the theatre. [[In you go]]

Uuuuh... the piece of paper! <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/Pictogram.JPG" alt="what. the. heck."> [[Can you crack the password?]]

Inside the theatre, there are rows of people wearing the black ear headbands. All of them are staring at a flickering screen showing an image of a baby deer. He is running. The sound of a gunshot rings out. Some of the people in the headbands start crying. You sit down and watch the movie till the interval. The people in the headbands start to shuffle off. Some of them look as though they have been there a very long time. You start asking about your managers. No-one answers you. One person points, very slowly, at a bald man at the back next to the projector. You weren't planning on asking him, mostly because he has a glowing lightbulb in his mouth and you're starting to suspect that he might be the projector. But if he's the only one who can help, you're gonna have to [[suck it up and talk to the bald guy]]

You ask the bald guy about the managers. "Mphrm frhrm mhhhhrm hhhrm - oh that's better!" You take the lightbulb out of his mouth so he can speak. It's kind of warm. "Yeah, I saw some people matchin' that description. Couple hours ago, it was. They were heading back towards the park entrance!" Curses. They were fine all along, probably just exploring. You came all this way for nothing. "I'll just get back, then, before they start wondering where I am!" You laugh, a bit awkwardly. "Ironic, right?" Baldy looks at you as if you're a bit weird. "I guess? Hey - before you go, one of the movie fans left you this." He hands you a piece of paper. "I think he said it was a warning, but he mixes his words up, so I dunno." Before you get a chance to look at the paper, the weird plummy usher guy appears next to your left elbow. "If you wish to leave, you must come with me!" [[OK buddy, chill out, I'll do what you want!]] [[Nah thanks, I'll find my own way out!]]

The ear-wearing film fans turn as one and shamble back towards you, chanting something. The plummy usher grabs your arms - wow, he's really strong - and drags you off to a back room. The film fans follow, still chanting. He shoves you into a plush red armchair and claps his hands, twice. An ear-wearing film fan shuffles forth, bearing something on a silver plate, covered with a dome. The usher whips off the dome to reveal... is that catfood? "FEED THEM THE SALMON MOUSSE!" ...Salmon mousse? [[Whatever, it's a bit 70s, but I'm sure it'll be fine]] [[OK buddy, chill out, I'll do what you want!]]

It wasn't fine. You should not have eaten the salmon mousse. <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/death%205.jpg" alt="Darling... you didn't use CANNED salmon?">

You follow the plummy usher through the theatre to a rear door. "If you wish to leave, you must answer these questions!" The crowd of film fans has followed you. Somewhere from the back, someone mutters, "Can't you cut them some slack? Geez, don't you ever just relax?" It sounds like Baldy. You're kind of grateful for the moral support. "SHUT UP!" barks the plummy usher. "Ahem. Now, will you answer my questions?" You don't see that you have much of a choice. "Very well! The first question is: [[What was the title of the first full-length animated movie ever released?]]"

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'snow white and the seven dwarfs')[ [[That answer is correct!]] ](else-if: $answer is 'snow white and the seven dwarves')[ [[That answer is correct!]] ](else:)[ [[That answer is WRONG!!!]] ]}

Well, phew. [[OK, give me the next question]] [[Nah thanks, I'll find my own way out!]]

The plummy usher starts cackling maniacally and gets right up in your grill. "DO YOU GIVE UP? OR DO YOU TRY AGAIN??? ARE YOU A QUITTER??? ARE YOU???" [[OK buddy, chill out, I'll do what you want!]] I'll try again!! [[Nah thanks, I'll find my own way out!]]

The plummy usher looks down his long nose at you, clearly displeased with your success. [["Who voiced Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'kathleen turner')[ [[That answer is also correct!]] ](else:)[ [[That answer is very WRONG!!!]] ]}

You breathe a sigh of relief. [["How many questions are there?"]]

The usher leers at you. "Do you want to try again, you useless piece of upopped pocorn?" [[OK, give me the next question]] again [[Nah thanks, I'll find my own way out!]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'lord farquaad')[ [[Your final answer is correct!]] ](else:)[ [[Excuse me? Watch your mouth! That is wrong!]] ]}

The plummy usher's mouth droops, but he shows you to the door. It's a rear door. You can go left or right, but you can't see anything familiar on this side of the building and there's no clue which way you should go. Maybe there's something useful on this piece of paper Baldy gave you? He seemed to be on your side. [[You unroll the piece of paper]]

You plant your face into your hands for a moment. You're not sure what to do next. You just want to get out of here. Ask [["How many questions are there?"]] Tell him you're done. [[Nah thanks, I'll find my own way out!]]

<img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/anagram.jpg" alt="whaaaaaaaaaaa?"> What on earth... WAIT. "He gets his words muddled up". It's an anagram! [[What does it actually say?]]

(set: $answer to (prompt: "Your answer, please:", "")) { (if: $answer is 'giant spider')[ [[Welp?]] ](else:)[ [[Couldn't he have just learnt to spell?]] ]}

Well, that still doesn't tell you which way to go. You can't hang around here forever, so you guess you're just gonna have to pick a direction and hope for the best. You're already facing left, so what are you gonna do? [[Keep going]] left Turn around and [[Go right]]

[[You unroll the piece of paper]] and you try again. It must be something helpful... CLUE: 2 words: 5,6

Sometimes, walking round this place feels like going round in circles. [[Keep going]]

You can hear a weird tapping noise, which turns into scuttling. You round a corner and you see... oh no... OH NO... giant spider. Like, the size of a car giant. It might be animatronic, you're not sure, but it's scurrying RIGHT TOWARDS YOU. What are you gonna do? [[Throw the hammer at it!]] [[Throw lemons at it!!]] [[It's kind of cute?? I'm gonna befriend it and call it Bob!]]

The hammer clangs harmlessly off the spider's carapace. It hisses and clacks its metal mandibles together. It appears you have just made it angry. Oh dear. <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/death%204.jpg" alt="The cat's not the only one judging your life choices.">

Spiders hate citrus! The spider hisses and flees, leaving you to continue unhindered. Finally, you can see a few landmarks you recognise. [[Go towards the centre of the park]]

You stand very still and look the spider in all of its eight eyes. When the spider is close, you stretch out your hand, palm upwards. You turn your head away, and close your eyes. You feel the spider's cold metal forehead nudge against your palm. Then - to your surprise - Bob the spider bows down. After a moment's hesitation, you climb onto Bob's back. It worked! You and Bob are BFFs! You're riding a giant spider! Nothing can possibly get in your way! Ride Bob to victory! Or, at least, [[back to the bunk-bed huts near the park entrance.]]

There's a kind of roundabout at the centre of the park. In the centre is an old man selling helium balloons. Chasing each other round and round the roundabout are a group of clowns with squeaky-wheeled tricycles and comically small pedal-cars. You're tired and weirded-out and you decide it's time to get help. Who do you approach for assistance? [[Approach the balloon seller]] [[Try and get the clowns' attention]]

You ask the balloon seller for help. He says nothing, just stares at you, virtually expressionless. Slowly, he pulls down a single balloon from the bunch. Holds it down. Picks up something from the stall. It's a pin. Slowly, deliberately, never breaking eye contact, he moves the point of the pin towards the balloon. POP. He starts pulling down another balloon. You're really not sure what to do. He repeats the whole performance again. POP. And again. POP. You back off very, very slowly, trying to keep your eye on the balloon guy. When you think you've reached a safe distance, you turn to the only option now remaining, and [[Try and get the clowns' attention]] instead.

You stand there bewildered for a second, watching the clowns go round and round. Then inspiration strikes. You stick out your thumb like a hitchhiker. A clown on a squeaky tricycle pulls over. "Hi there! Do you need a ride!" The clowns are just... regular childrens' entertainers? They're rehearsing? This one calls himself Booboo and is more than happy to give you a lift [[back to the bunk-bed huts near the park entrance.]]

"One more," he sneers, "onnnnnnnneeeeee moooooooreeeee. Answer me this, if you can: [[What is the name of the obnoxious lord, based on former Disney boss Michael Eisner, who rules the kingdom of Duloc in the first instalment of the Shrek franchise?]] And yes, you will have to spell it correctly.

When you get back to the little bunk-bed hut, the managers are waiting. “Where have you been? We've got team building activities to do!” they ask in perfect unison. Then they cackle maniacally. Did the managers always have such great teeth? And were they always that... sparkly? Do you still have that hammer? Looks like it's going to be a long night... <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/the%20end.jpg" alt="Th-Tha-That's all, folks!"> [[Credits]]

Maybe they find your lifeless, pale body in the Tunnel of Love in the morning. Maybe you're about to start a new life in a very rainy small town where no-one has read a horror novel, ever. Maybe you end up writing a terrible erotic novel which gets utterly roasted by the critics but nonetheless becomes a bestselling ebook. Whatever happens, wave goodbye to your soul, you lovesick fool... <img src="https://adventuretimewiththeateam.neocities.org/death%202.jpg" alt="are you serious. it's not like there weren't enough clues.">

- Writing, story and general tomfoolery: Claire Macleod - Any coding more complex than a double pair of brackets: Aaron Macleod - Artwork and trivia: Google Search